Untitled

"I heard that you settled down,
Found a guy
And you're married now."

Yeah, I change the pronouns when I sing.
It means more.

But, also,
I just want someone to notice,
Call me out on it.
I want to be spared the
Awkwardness
Of the traditional dinner table reveal.
And perhaps I also want
A little drama.

I'm dropping hints -
"I need to tell you something."

Messages

Beep beep
An unexpected situation.
Bad news, but not the worst.

How do I respond to that?
Words of comfort sound hollow,
Unfeeling.
The opposite of what I want to convey.
I want them to know
I'm thinking of them
Without it sounding like
A greetings card.

I've not had to deal with anything like this
So far.
Not on my own,
I've always been shielded,
Standing back.
I don't quite know the etiquette.

I have to reply.
To just ignore it is definitely rude.
So...
"Thinking of you" - no, that's the greetings card.
"Hope everything is okay" - it's obviously not.
Not quite right,
Appropriate.

I know, I'll be honeest -
"Um, I don't really know
How to respond to that... I hope
Everything will be okay [it will]
Keep me up to date [I'm here for you]"

Message Sent.

Life. Camera, Action

Lights.
Waiting at the side.
Watching.
Learning.
You think
Not your turn yet.

Camera.
Other people take centre stage.
Still
You wait,
You watch.
You don't take the chances,
The opportunities.
You think
Your time will come.

Action.
It's your turn, your chance,
Your life.
Cut.
Over.
Gone
Forever.
No second chances.

Living was left too late.

Letting Go

We were friends
And most of the time it was great.
We hung out,
Laughed together.
I have a lot of fond memories -
That film we always watched,
We saw it again recently,
It wasn't the same.
You got me through
Some of my toughest schooldays.
You also caused them.

You'd cut me down.
Those memories still affect me.
I'm still insecure
About not knowing what to say.
You made me feel it was a bad thing.
Other people are showing me it isn't.
Or you'd meet someone new,
Find something more exciting to do,
More grown up.
Then you'd get bored of that and come back.
I was always there.

I remember the exact moment I realised
We wouldn't always be friends.
Ten minutes of silence walking to school.
No animosity,
I just couldn't be bothered to try anymore.
We don't need each other
Like we used to.

I still have a laugh with you.
I still trust you with secrets.
But there aren't going to be many more milestones.
I can see
There's a limit on our future conversations.
The door's starting to lock between us.

Behind me.